


you're such a good friend i have to break your heart

by orphan_account



Category: Baka to Test to Shokanju | Baka and Test: Summon the Beasts
Genre: Apologies, Coming Out, Feelings Jams, Gen, Shouko Kirishima's Compulsatory Heterosexuality, Shouko is a Lesbian, Yuuji has Conflicted Emotions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-20
Updated: 2020-07-20
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:06:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25407367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: there's a lot of ways yuuji imagined shouko's.. thing for him ending.restraining order. different colleges. him accidentally being killed during one of her punishment games.but this..."you're a lesbian?"
Relationships: Himeji Mizuki/Kirishima Shouko (Mentioned), Kirishima Shouko & Sakamoto Yuuji
Comments: 1
Kudos: 9





	you're such a good friend i have to break your heart

there's a lot of ways yuuji imagined shouko's..  _ thing _ for him ending.

restraining order. different colleges. him accidentally being killed during one of her punishment games.

but this...

"you're a  _ lesbian_?" he's unable to keep the incredulous tone out of his voice. she looks down, pursing her lips. "are you serious? this isn't some weird ass trick to get me to confess to you or something, is it?"

"it's not." she doesn't look at him. she hasn't since she dragged him out of his classroom and into one of the hallways no one visits.

an awkward lapse of silence falls over the two of them. he slumps against the wall behind him, sliding down onto the hallway floor.

"yuuji."

he glances up at her. she's standing against the wall across from him, her arms crossed across her torso, still looking at the floor.

"yeah?" yuuji winces at the crack in his voice. he thinks he should feel relieved, but there's something  _nasty_ swirling in the pit of his stomach. a weird mix of something like betrayal and disbelief.

"i'm sorry." she finally meets his eyes, and he almost jumps out of his skin at the sincerity that's in them.

he furrows his brow. "why are you sorry?" he lets out a small, hollow chuckle. "you can't control who you're attracted to."

shouko smiles a bit, but it quickly falls. "not about that." she clarifies. "i mean.. about everything else."

"oh." it's his turn to look at the floor now, not knowing what else to say.

she's quiet for a few more moments. then, "it wasn't fair for me to use you as a guinea pig."

if he was in a cartoon, there would most definitely be two question marks bouncing over his head right now. "guinea pig?"

"i decided you were the boy i was gonna have a crush on. that wasn't fair to you." she elaborates, but he must still look confused. "i never really liked you- not like that, at least. you're an amazing friend, yuuji."

shouko's voice is so sincere it almost makes him sick.

"i just never realized that's all you are. a friend." she walks over to him, sliding down onto the floor next to him.

he thinks this is the closest the two of them have ever been without her clinging onto him. it's fucking  _weird_.

yuuji looks in the opposite direction of her, not quite ready to meet her eyes yet. "how.. did you find out?" he asks.

he glances over at her just in time to catch her small, almost wistful smile. "mizuki." she admits, and it feels like a punch to the gut.

he doesn't let it show, though. just gives her a grin. "yeah? she  _ is _ pretty cute. i bet you're not the first one who figured it out because of her."

it's so weird, being able to say that without having his eyes gouged out. he's not sure if he'll ever get over that.

shouko's cheeks flush bright pink, and she looks away from him, unable to stop her smile from spreading further across her face.

"it was the haunted house." she says. "that's when i realized. i couldn't stop blushing."

yuuji laughs, just a bit. "so afterwards, when you chased me through the whole school with that stupid fucking contract..?"

"last ditch effort." she laughs quietly as well. then, her face scrunches up a bit, before it goes all soft and sad. "i'm sorry, yuuji." she says again.

"you dont have to k-"

he's cut off by her arms wrapping around him, pulling him into a tight, but not uncomfortable, embrace. he's stiff for a few seconds before relaxing, tentatively wrapping his arms around her as well.

"i'll make it up to you someday." shouko whispers into his shoulder, squeezing him gently before pulling away. she cups his cheek, looking him in the eyes for a few moments.

it's weird, yuuji thinks in the back of his mind. some part of him is convinced she's about to kiss him, until she stands up, brushing off the back of her skirt.

"i have to get back to class. you should too." she tells him, back turned to him, before making her way down the hallway. yuuji doesn't move from his spot on the floor, just.. watches her.

"oh, and yuuji?" she speaks again when after walking for a few seconds. "you should check your pocket."

"my pocket?" he asks, furrowing his brow.

but she's gone before he can ask more, running off down the hallway. yuuji doesn't know if she's running away from him, or if she's just eager to get to class.

he knows he should follow after her, or even just go back to his own class, but he feels as if he's stuck where he's sitting.

shouko. a lesbian.

who would've guessed?

he sighs, shaking his head before digging his hands into his pockets. he finds a folded up piece of paper in his left one.

he carefully unfolds it, and is immediately met with shouko's elegant handwriting. the whole letter is written in a purple ink, and he smiles to himself. there's something more charming about it now.

he begins to read.

_ "dear yuuji, _

_ i'm writing this because i don't know how to say everything i need to out loud. i tried to practice all of this, i really did, but it's just... hard. _

_ i'm a lesbian. you probably already know that if you're reading this. _

_ and i'm sorry. i don't think i'll ever stop being sorry. i was so unpleasant towards you. you didn't deserve any of it. _

_ i thought i was in love with you. thought you were my  soulmate,  someone i was going to spend the rest of my life with. everyone else- our friends, your mother, the staff- encouraged it.  _

_ you were the only person who didn't treat me differently, all those years ago. i know you weren't fond of me, and i know i was strange. i'm sure you aren't fond of me now. _

_ no one ever taught me how i should love people. the only thing i was ever taught is that i should love a  boy.  no one bothered to wonder if a lonely little girl knew how to love at all. _

_ my parents.. well. you know about them. they're not the closest. i can't even remember the last time i saw the two of them together. _

_ you know as well as i do that our friends aren't the best with romance either. the reason i was so.. aggressive, so set on hurting you, is because.. well, minami and mizuki do it to yoshii. _

_ i thought that's how girls are supposed to act when they're in love with a boy. and i'm sorry for that. _

_i thought it was normal to hurt people you love. to punish them the way i did to you. now, however, i know it's not. i hope minami and mizuki learn that soon as well._

_ i don't think there's anything i can do to fully make up for everything i did to you. i've tried to think of anything that could fix it, but i think i finally realized that nothing really can. _

_ i hurt you, and i'm sorry, yuuji. _

_ i hope you can forgive me someday. you really are my best friend. _

_ love, _

_ shouko." _

yuuji sets down the paper, staring down at his shoes and trying to figure out how exactly to react. there's so many thoughts racing through his mind.

"hey, man." akihisa's voice snaps him out of his thoughts, and he instinctively grabs the paper.

"iron man wanted us to bring you back to class." hideyoshi pipes up behind aki, giving yuuji a concerned look. "are you.. okay?" he asks.

"what?" yuuji furrows his brow. "yeah, of course i'm okay. why do you ask?"

"dude, you're crying." aki reaches down and swipes a tear off his cheek, and yuuji bats his hands away. "shit, did she jab your eyes again? i'll go get the drops-"

"she just broke up with me."

there's one, two, three beats of silence, stunned looks on both of their faces. then-

"holy _shit_!"

"no _way_!"

they begin to clamor over each other, desperate for information, before he holds up one hand. both of them immediately shut up.

"i'll explain later." he assures them. "let's just get back to class before iron man crucifies us." he stands up, brushing the dust off his pants before beginning to walk down the hallway.

he doesn't hear either of their footsteps following after him, and he laughs, wiping the tears off his face. "c'mon. do you  _ want  _ to be gutted like a fish?"

both of them scramble over to him. he folds up the piece of paper as he walks, listening to their stunned conversation.

"i can't believe it." hideyoshi breathes.

"i seriously never thought i would see the day." aki shakes his head, before wrapping his arm around yuuji's shoulders. "so, i guess those were tears of joy, huh?"

yuuji rolls his eyes, grinning fondly at him. "totally," he nods, before shoving him away. "race you back to class?"

"oh, you're  _on_! "

with that, both of them are off, shoving each other as they bolt down the hallway. he can hear hideyoshi calling after them, and one of the teachers comes out of their classroom to tell them to keep it down, but he doesn't  care.

the only thing he really cares about right now is finding a piece of paper, a red-inked pen, and the right words to say back to her.

he knows he'll find all of it in due time.

but until then, he's perfectly content to run down the school hallway and cause a ruckus. 

(even if it does mean iron man is going to bring the wrath of hell down on the two of them.)

**Author's Note:**

> my first fic for this anime!!! i've loved it since i was, like, 10. i rewatched it recently and noticed some interesting things about the way shouko acts.
> 
> feedback is much appreciated!! <3


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